Howard’s travesty government in action! Millions in tax-payers money to compensate for mistakenly deported citizens, children overboard (with Australian integrity) race riots, food prices go through the roof, interest rate rises, mortgagee sales, Costello targets kids as reactionary hostiles planning to invade Canberra and overthrow government, and that is just what immediately comes to mind, there’s more, much more!

The Oz military is doing its best to emulate the lobotomised yanks, where have all the standards gone? A leader reflects the standards and character of his nation, cringe, and cringe some more, Oi, Oi, Oink!

The two biggest tragedies facing Oz at the moment are the idiot wind Labor opposition party, who have had victory served on a platter countless times, only to fumble and lose the plot (and everything else!) As stated elsewhere, a high school debating team could have won government from the lying, inept, criminal Howard crew – but not the Labor Party of Australia!

The second tragedy is the loss of one of Dr Nelson’s diamond ear studs, has anybody seen it? Not likely, a population that can’t see the nose on its face has No Hope! Australian society has come of age; ten years of Johnny’s cringing, lying, weak, spineless, lost bunch of timid government incompetents leading the nation backwards at light-speed. The Australian masses salute you, Johnny (killer of women and children) coward Howard, war criminal and U.S. lackey. A perfectly gutless tribute from a gutless public – what a day for a tragedy!

But wait, fasten your seat belts and prepare for the next instalment of how not to win an election; there’s yet another leadership challenge from the factionalised Labor party – but do you think the penny has dropped on the unproductive faction system? Nah, no way, it's same ol’, same ol’, business as usual in the land of the lost down under.

But it’s Christmas and we can all get pissed and forget our cowardice, apathy, personal debt (and everything else). Put a fetid prawn on the barbie, Oi, Oi, spew, ooops, sorry about that maate!

While we’re all guzzling piss and tucking into toxic seafood and GM-fed Christmas Turkeys, remember there’s an Aussie having his fifth Christmas in solitary confinement at Torture Bay, three cheers for Oz solidarity, mateship, camaraderie and lack of identity – there’s not another nation like it, anywhere!

This is toe-touching Australia everyone, come on down and give it to us where we have learnt to accept it, Oink, Oink, Oink!